14. MEDITATE

i have been really stressed out with my new job. i've been freaking out about being my own boss and setting my own schedule. i'm letting the stress take over my body and attention span. i've felt overwhelmed and yet spending extra hours at my job hasn't seemed to ease that feeling. i am afraid my job is going to make me more depressed. i recently realized i was having a quarter mid-life crisis (it's probably why i started this blog) when i realized there is nothing in my life now that i feel truly passionate about. this morning there was a breaking point. i haven't been able to sleep. i stayed up until 6 a.m. just lying in bed.

so the stress in my body basically is a positive feedback system at the moment. and meditating is helping a little. it's better than taking aspirin. it's like setting the reset button on the machine that is your body.

when i first wanted to meditate, i thought of it as a lifestyle more than an act of simplicity. i wanted to learn HOW to do it, and i bought books and DVDs and read about it on the internet. i scheduled it in my daily calendar. i basically missed the entire point of doing it, and thus, never really got into the habit.

now its no big thing. i just do some light yoga, breathe deeply, and relax by thinking of a big bright light. and i feel better for a few hours.

the head bows to heart, etc.